I know that

it's been a while since I posted an actual update. I don't really have an excuse. Less daylight and cold temperatures that keep me from getting outside when we do actually have daylight are putting me in a funk. I'm sitting here watching it snow right now - we already had 10+ on the ground, and are not going to get what we were initially forecasted to get, but damn, I'm already tired of snow and all it's associated issues.

We had a nice holiday season, but I'm glad to be past it and move on. I've never been big on resolutions or New Year's Eve, but there's something about starting with a clean slate and a semi-clean calendar. I think the thing I'm most eager to get past is winter. We've had snow for a long time (I honestly can't remember when we got our first snowfall) and more than a few negative temperatures already, and it's barely officially winter. As much as warm winters in Texas seemed wrong, I would pay to have one of those right about now. Just the logistics of getting around on snow and ice are a pain. Quite truthfully, I wish I could just hibernate until spring.

I think that part of my feeling this way is due to my decreased dose of my antidep - my doctor wanted me off of it completely during pregnancy, but once I told him my history, he agreed that I didn't need to come off completely, but he still felt that my dosage should probably be reduced. My dosage was higher than it was when I was pregnant with Reed - I had a bit of PPD about six months after Reed was born and we upped my dosage, and I've just never come back down. I don't really know if 75mg of Effexor can make my life feel better than it does now, but I'm going to discuss it with him at my next visit. That's not to say that I'm sick or depressed; just that I have low energy, the desire to sleep all. the. time., and am just kind of lethargic. I just feel better when I'm more medicated (and when there's more sunlight available).

Another reason I've been in a funk is just how life works out sometimes. I had been following Emilie Lemmon's blog for a long while. I posted a few weeks ago asking for good thoughts for her. Just a few days later, on December 23rd, she peacefully passed away at home. She and her family had been (and continue to be) weighing heavily on my mind, especially during what is supposed to be such a happy and joyous time of year.

My pregnancy is going fine - this little guy is way more active than Reed was - but I also think that he's positioned differently than Reed was. At his ultrasound, he was measuring about a week and a half ahead of schedule - which isn't surprising, since there seem to be no small Mateus babies (Reed was 9+lbs, our nephews Dylan and Brandon were both 10+ lbs)I get to drink the yummy glucola in a couple of weeks for my GTT. I plan on being much more cautious with my diet in the days before the test - I don't know if I could stand to have to do the three-hour test again like I did in my previous pregnancy. It's like a sugar high followed by a crash, and it's really miserable to try to do anything else for the rest of the day after having drank that horrible super-sweet orange crap. Maybe it's a good excuse to take the rest of the day off, eh?